For my dear babies…a joint letter.

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Posted on : 21-11-2011 | By : dutdot | In : All about my baby, baby care, Expat Blogging, Life's Musings, NATURAL LETTERS

My dearest girls,

Mommy’s heart is bleeding. It has been bleeding for a week now. From the time that Mommy got the bug last Nov. 14 until today I resisted of getting nearer to anyone of you. Believe me, it’s very hard on Mommy’s part. We’ve been inseparable from the time you were both born in 2009 and this year, respectively. This is the longest time that I’ve never touched, kissed, hugged, and cuddled you both.

Thank God Mommy has no fever, only coughs and colds. Almost everyone get the coughs and colds during prewinter time. I wanted to spare you both. Please do understand Mommy. I think I got another virus strain again that’s why it’s kinda hard for me to recover soonest. It was only Daddy who got my virus strain last week. But yesterday night, your nanny said that BBK didn’t sleep well last night because she has colds. Oh no.

How many times you attempted to play with me, to talk with me – both of you – but Mommy hesitated. It would bleed Mommy’s heart if both of you will get sick. Today, I saw BB A at the kitchen. You were washed by your nanny because you pooped. You saw me at the living room, drinking water. You approached me happily. You were trying to get nearer to me. And since, Mommy’s so afraid that you might get the virus strain from me, I told you, “No, baby, don’t get near Mommy”. I saw you were hurt, my 1st born. You went away from Mommy, near the cabinet, your eyes were sad, evoking a questioning look. I cried. I could not hide it anymore. Tears sprang from my eyes as I went to our room. I am crying until now.

I remember this morning the happy face that BB K gave me when I peaked into the small opening of your door. BB K smiled at me. I smiled and waived back. Oh, how I miss you so much, too, BB K, my youngest baby. I love you both, my babies, and I miss you so much.

I am writing to express the pain I feel inside. I shouldn’t cry anymore because it will just add up to the discomfort of having clogged nose.

I need to protect you both from getting sick. This is a better way to protect you both by confining myself alone in our bedroom. Yesterday, when we went to Al Salam, Daddy started to sneeze and have runny nose just after we went out of the elevator. No one in there sneezed. But we thought he got another virus strain. Colds are common during pre-winter and winter season. We have to sacrifice to protect you both. I really don’t want to recall how you both were hospitalized a few months back just because of colds and high fever, over 39 degrees Celsius.

I am sorry, my two adorable babies. Mommy loves you so much, always remember that.

I will try my very best to get better soonest.

iloveyou,

mommy

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