T H E  26th   L E T T E R

Dec. 21, 2009 @ 11:33p.m.

Dear Baby,

I’ve been meaning to write you letters, but, just the same, I was very preoccupied with a lot of things. So sorry for that, baby. I also missed cuddling you, and talking with you. Uh-oh. I kinda feel bad because it seemed you didn’t improve much in terms of your speaking skills. Physically, you gained a few pounds, and I think, you also gained some inches. Tomorrow, I’ll start teaching you how to walk.

We’ve been in the Philippines for a MONTH, actually, exactly ONE month today! Our travel went well. I hope that it would be the same when we get back overseas since it would just be the two of us — Daddy went with us in going to our home country, but could not accompany us in getting back to where you’re born (overseas) because of his new work. Daddy will spend the holidays alone in our flat…sigh. It’s actually our first Christmas as a family, your first Christmas, too, on Earth. Anyways, I am sure that you’ll enjoy your first Christmas with Mommy, and your grandmas, grandpas, aunties, and uncles. Daddy promised to give us a post Christmas celebration in Rome by March and that would coincide with your first year birthday.

Speaking of birthday, it will be your 9th month birthday this Sunday. Wow, how time flies, baby! NINE MONTHS! Wohooo! It’s gonna be a big celebration. I wish to spend more time with you so that you’ll be able to develop more skills while we are here in our home country.

I wish to reminisce how you have been doing on your 8th month. Before we left our flat overseas, Daddy and Mommy heard you saying a vulgar word. Uh-oh. That’s kinda disgusting to tell here, but, it’s a lesson for Mommy. After you said that word, Daddy and Mommy just looked at one another with a puzzled look — how did you learn to say that; why did you say that WORD — exactly the way it is pronounced by adults. LOL!

You also mentioned your name – your nickname – and we’re all amazed at how you pronounced it – at seven months, barely a week before you turned eight. You can now also say auntie, (sometimes you pronounce it as ate); you can say ‘unke’ for uncle; you said the word seki for sexy; you said the word dirty, too, for several times. You can now say the word “mommy” – but not so often unlike when you mention the word “daddy”.

You now know how to wave your hand when we tell you the word “bye-bye”; you can now dance and you are enjoying it much by wiggling your body, tapping your legs, and waving your right arm over head.

You love to make face by wrinkling your nose, a habit you learned from your grandpa, papa. Although I find you so cute when you do that, I hope that you won’t do it often. Hehe.

You smile at everyone. You are the apple of our eyes. Everyone’s attention is for you.

You always say Daddy every time you’re awake. You must be missing Daddy very much because you call your grandpa, uncles as Daddy. You even thought Bong Revilla (on the TV screen) was your daddy. There was a time I cried hard – was it last Dec.10 – when I got your Daddy’s ID picture from my wallet, and said to my mama and to your yaya that “this is my husband; he was still slim here) when you suddenly grabbed it and said, “daddy!!!”. My mama teased you and said, “he’s my daddy, too!” and started to grab the picture from you – and you cried hard while you said in between tears the word, “daddy”….

A few days back, it was so touching, too, when you touched the face of your daddy on the laptop screen when we were having a videoconferencing with Daddy.

On our first week at the province, you got rashes and mosquito bites. Daddy, Mommy, and you got sick. But thank God, your colds vanished quickly because of Green Barley. The aircon was installed so you’d have a good night sleep.

This is all for now, baby. I will write you frequently, I promise.

iloveyou,

mommy

T H E  25th  L E T T E R

Nov. 18, 2009 @1:52a.m.

Dear Baby,

We just had our send-off party! We’ll be going to our hometown, where Daddy and Mommy were born and raised. You’ll meet Daddy’s and Mommy’s respective families! They are all excited to see you and welcome you as the newest addition to our families!

Thank God that everything went well. God made it so smooth for us – the transition, the travel, the plans. Thank You, Lord. Thank you, baby, for being our inspiration.

I’d been meaning to write this letter to you a few days back, but I was so busy preparing our things. Anyway, I wanted to tell you about the incident that happened last Nov.15. I was away from you for half an hour. I went to our bedroom to use the laptop. When I went out, you were sort of angry at Mommy. You shouted as if to say “where have you been, Mommy?”, when you saw me coming out from the room. Both Daddy and Mommy were surprised with your reaction because you really shouted, “wah!” with matching movement of your arms and feet in an abrupt manner.

People have been happy to hear you talk. They said that you’re really such a talkative baby! You mimic what we have to say. One time, I said in an agitated manner, “gatas!”, and you said in the same manner that I did, “gata!”. Mommy should be careful in dealing with you, really. Hehe.

It’s past 1a.m. now, in fact, two minutes before 2a.m. I should be sleeping now. Tomorrow’s the last day to pack our things. I am not yet done with the packing. I still have to buy some few things tomorrow, too.

This is all for now.

iloveyou,

mommy

T H E  23RD  L E T T E R

Nov. 4, 2009 @ 9:44p.m.

Dear Baby,

How are you? I’m sorry I haven’t written for a quite awhile. Mom was too busy making plans. But this I learned – sometimes our plans won’t materialize the way we want them to be no matter how much we think we are prepared. There are opportunities that will come knocking at our doors. It’s either we grab them or take another route or be still. It’s either we stuck up or fall apart or go with the flow.

I am writing this letter to tell you how much thankful I am to you for being my strength. For eight hours, Mom was real scared about the unknown. I’ve been battling with my fear of flying in an international flight with you and me only because Dad has some important things to attend to. Thoughts of whatifs, buts, and other things clouded my sanity. The fear suddenly vanished just 10 minutes ago when you were crawling on my tummy, and your cute, cold, little fingers were holding on to me. You were not fearful. You thought Mommy is powerful, strong, and would not put you to danger. An idea hit me! It was as if I was enlightened! I shed a tear with the realization that you’d cling on to Mommy for support, and for assurance that everything will be OK on our first international travel.

I am crying as I am writing this letter, baby. You’re drinking your milk on my lap. I am holding you with my left arm; my left hand is holding the bottle so you can drink while my right hand is typing this letter. Another realization: I can always multi-task as a mother. It’s what almost all mothers are doing for their children. I can multi-task on our travel, too.

I was chatting with Daddy this morning, and both of us we’re feeling uneasy over the thoughts of not being together in this international travel, our first as a family; of not being together this holiday season; and, of other related thoughts. I told Daddy that it’s as if I would be delivering a baby for the first time – unsure, uneasy, scared, BUT determined. I only realized the BUT as I write this letter now. It made my heart skip a bit as I write this. My emotions are overwhelming at the realization that I am A MOTHER, your mother and that I should be tough yet gentle with you; that I should show courage because you’re giving your confidence in me. I am crying even more now because you have your own way of making Mommy strong.

I remember seven months ago. You wanted to come out of this world as fast as you can. You cooperated with Mommy because you made it easy for Mommy to deliver you in just exactly three hours. You were smallish, but maybe your weight was on purpose so that you could easily get out from Mommy without suffering a long, hard labor. The first time I saw you I was so stunned at your size. I was afraid of touching you so I just kissed you. I wanted to hold you but I was afraid of hurting you. The nurses took you away from me. We were reunited after three longish hours. With you by my side, I felt of protecting you from the scrutinizing eyes of other mothers there. They were comparing you with their children. I didn’t care. For me you’re most beautiful, perfect baby!

The night was long in that hospital bed we’re in. You were on your hospital crib and you’re clothed with the green blanket. It took me a lot of courage to leave you behind for a few minutes so I had to make a call for Daddy, who was waiting for the good news about you. Slippers-less, I walked down the cold floor of the hospital corridor. I was only wearing the hospital gown, and had no underwear. All I thought was I had to tell Daddy so he could spread the news about you. Glad you didn’t cry while I was out. I was scared to death leaving you behind so I only made a sort call. Glad that someone helped Daddy (even if it was already beyond visiting hours) to bring me my mobile phone, my food, my clothes, and your clothes, and other important things. I made two phone calls to Daddy during that night. On my 2nd time to call, I put on the maternity pads on my feet to protect me from the coldness of the floor. I realized that as a new mom, I learned to be resourceful and creative. I realized I was a fighter in that battle, our battle.

While all the babies and mothers who delivered on that same day I delivered you were all discharged, I was full of anxieties when we’re not released yet. They told me that they’d conduct yet another blood test for both of us. The next morning, we were still at the hospital. They were making sure that everything’s fine with you because of your size then. You calmed me with your normal breathing. You pacified me with your soft cry. You assured me with your sweet, dimpled smile.

For two nights at the hospital, you didn’t cry out loud unlike the other babies. You didn’t even cry out loud even when your diaper area was already soiled, and the poop had gone dry. I was so scared to change your diaper, no, actually, I was too dumb on how to change it.

Baby, thank you so much for letting me walk through that wonderful, scary, yet fulfilling memory lane. I delivered you successfully in three hours via normal delivery in a foreign place, with a foreign nurse attendant. We were both in that significant occasion of our lives. We were victorious! I didn’t show my fear when I saw that the nurse was holding this giant pair of scissors to tear me down there. I was fearful, you know. But Mommy survived that ordeal. I didn’t show my fear when the doctor was already stitching me up down there. I was fearful, you know. But for the love of you, Mommy had to be strong at that time. Mommy didn’t dare sleep because I was waiting to see you then, to be reunited with you.

And now that we’d be flying “alone”, are we ready to face this adventure again? I am because you’re ready; because you’re giving me the confidence; because you are giving me the strength and the courage…not just at this time, but all the time.

Thank you, baby. I love you so much. Daddy loves you, too, and would be surely missing us on the holidays.

iloveyou,

mommy

T H E  17TH  L E T T E R

Oct. 19, 2009 @ 10:17p.m.

Dear Baby,

We attended the mass today. We didn’t sit at the Children’s Section, instead, we positioned ourselves near the main door. For the first time in six months of going to the church, it was your first time to be talkative while the mass was going on. You were also singing! We went to the adoration chapel; you’re waiting outside, but Mommy could hear your voice while I was praying. Hehe.

Some people could be really mean or are they just showing some concerns. Someone said, a friend, that we should not bring you often outside for you are quite small for your age; it’s hot outside so we must let you drink water every now and then so as not to get hydrated. Good point there. I gave you water after she said that.

While we were waiting for a few minutes outside, an Indian called my attention: “Ma’am.” I looked at him and thought he would just ask for something. Here’s what he said to me (was referring to you or to me?): “Small Filipina”. If he was referring to me, good Lord, there’s no problem with that. I don’t care at all. But if that man was referring to you, HOGWASH!

Was he mean or was he crazy? Both. First, he doesn’t know you nor me. It was his first time to see you. He doesn’t even know your age. He doesn’t know anything about you. I was caught off guard, baby. I wasn’t able to answer back. I wasn’t even able to yell at him (that’s an exaggeration, baby).

We were still at the vicinity of the church so God allowed Mommy not to answer back at that intruder. That man was a tall, walking, thin stick. He may have some problems that’s why he wanted to pick on some people to feel lighter about himself. So, baby, it means that whatever some people would throw at us, it doesn’t mean they are judging you or me or anyone they want to belittle; they are belittling something they don’t want for themselves or something that they are scared about themselves.

Anyway, baby, I want you to know that we cannot please everyone around us. But just the same, remain tough as you are. You are an incredible, gifted, multi-talented person. You’re dearly loved by Daddy and Mommy and by everyone in our families back home. Most importantly, God loves you so much! Hang on there, baby. No matter what other people say about you, about us, about our appearances, it doesn’t make less of what we are. You’re unique. You’re just a special person. So, cheer up!

Here’s one secret I want to tell you, baby: “Small people usually have big minds”….Always remember that.

iloveyou,

Mommy